I talked abou this a little on my blog and userdivinemum had a good insight that she posted in a comment:
My take on this? If you say you were betrayed, it implies that something was done to *you*. It takes away culpability. It's also an invitation for people to offer their sympathy and *hugs*. But to admit that you were mistaken or fooled? well, that's different. It means that you were active in listening, believing, and making a decision. And it's a lot harder for people to offer up those *hugs* if they think you could have avoided the drama-trauma in the first place.
To add to her comment: In Heidi's case, I suspect that it's because a lot of her self image, beyond being The BFF, is her underlying suspicion that she is smarter than and more clever than pretty much everyone (I am basing this on a lot of things, in part, her strong identification with Hermione). For her, she not only looses the ability to get the *hugs*, as divinemum so aptly pointed out but also, she forfeits part of her identity as the most clever girl who can do it all and, not only that, but, she's lost it over the vanity of those very same traits.
Edited to clarify what divinemum said and what I said.
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Date: 2006-06-22 03:02 pm (UTC)My take on this? If you say you were betrayed, it implies that something was done to *you*. It takes away culpability. It's also an invitation for people to offer their sympathy and *hugs*. But to admit that you were mistaken or fooled? well, that's different. It means that you were active in listening, believing, and making a decision. And it's a lot harder for people to offer up those *hugs* if they think you could have avoided the drama-trauma in the first place.
To add to her comment:
In Heidi's case, I suspect that it's because a lot of her self image, beyond being The BFF, is her underlying suspicion that she is smarter than and more clever than pretty much everyone (I am basing this on a lot of things, in part, her strong identification with Hermione). For her, she not only looses the ability to get the *hugs*, as divinemum so aptly pointed out but also, she forfeits part of her identity as the most clever girl who can do it all and, not only that, but, she's lost it over the vanity of those very same traits.
Edited to clarify what divinemum said and what I said.